Is Discord Used for Dating? A Complete Guide


By Jason

Update on

Is Discord Used For Dating
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Discord started as a communication platform for gamers but has evolved into so much more. With millions of active users, Discord servers now cover topics ranging from anime and sports to dating and relationships.

But is Discord a good platform for meeting potential romantic partners? This comprehensive guide will explore how and why people use Discord for dating. For more on the debate around using Discord for cheating, see is Discord used for cheating?

An Introduction to Discord

For those new to Discord, here is a quick overview:

  • Discord is a free voice, video, and text chat app and platform. Users can create and join specific servers based around topics or communities.
  • It allows for real-time communication between large groups of people. Both voice and text chat are available.
  • Discord launched in 2015 and now has over 150 million active users. It initially focused on gaming but has expanded to all types of communities.
  • Each Discord server operates independently with its own moderators. Servers have multiple text and voice channels for members to interact in.
  • Users can create a profile, choose a username, and join any public Discord server they wish. Private servers require an invite link or code.

So in summary, Discord facilitates communication for niche communities and friend groups. It operates similar to Slack, Skype, or IRC, but with a modern interface and wide userbase.

The Rise of Discord Dating Servers

While not designed specifically for dating, Discord allows users to meet and communicate in many ways. As a result, several categories of dating-oriented servers have emerged:

  • General dating servers – Public servers focused on meeting singles, dating advice, relationships, and connecting romantically.
  • Local/city dating servers – Location-based servers to meet other singles who live in your area.
  • LGBTQ+ dating servers – Welcoming dating communities for queer, nonbinary, and trans folks to connect.
  • Kink and BDSM servers – For those interested in discussing and meeting partners in kink, fetish, and BDSM relationships.
  • Teen dating servers – Some servers exist for teen dating, though Discord’s guidelines recommend users be at least 13 years old.
  • Gaming dating servers – For gamers looking to meet romantic partners who share their interests.

The appeal of Discord for dating is the ability to chat and get to know people first before meeting in person. Members can chat in the group or direct message someone they’re interested in. Moderators help keep conversations friendly and prohibit inappropriate behavior.

Is Discord Good for Dating? Pros vs Cons

Is Discord Good for Dating? Pros vs Cons

Discord offers some advantages for meeting new people, but there are also downsides to consider:

Pros of Using Discord for Dating:

  • It’s free. You don’t have pay anything to join servers, chat, or search for a match.
  • Discrete profiles. Your Facebook friends won’t see your dating profile like on some apps. It’s more private.
  • Personality-focused. You can showcase your interests, personality, and humor through your profile and messages.
  • Community atmosphere. Getting to know people within a shared interest group you relate to.
  • Chat features. Real-time chat and direct messages make getting to know someone conversational.
  • Control over interactions. You can block or report someone at any time if they make you uncomfortable.

Cons of Using Discord for Dating:

  • No ID verification. It’s easy to lie about your age or identity compared to dating sites that require verification.
  • Potential catfishing. Harder to confirm someone is who they claim to be.
  • Less mature users. Many teen users despite 13+ age limit, so more potential for drama or harassment.
  • No matchmaking. You have to seek out servers and conversations instead of an algorithm matching you with compatible people.
  • Inconsistent moderation. Server moderation quality varies, unlike paid dating sites with dedicated support staff.
  • Text-focused. Harder to gauge in-person chemistry compared to video chats on dating apps.

So in summary, Discord offers a more casual way to meet people with similar interests, but lacks some safety features of dedicated dating platforms. It can be a good starting place to make connections, which can then lead to dating if you hit it off.

Finding and Joining Dating Servers on Discord

Finding and Joining Dating Servers on Discord

If you decide to try meeting people on Discord, the first step is finding dating servers to join. Here are some tips:

  • Search Discord server directories – Sites like Disboard,, and TopDiscordServers list servers by category and popularity.
  • Look for server invite links – Many dating servers post invites on Reddit, Twitter, or their own websites.
  • Ask for recommendations – Talk to friends who use Discord for suggestions on fun, active servers.
  • Specify interests – Search for niche dating servers that reflect your personality, orientation, kinks, age, or location.
  • Check the rules – Read the rules and moderation policies before joining to ensure it seems safe. Learn how to make rules on a Discord server.
  • Stay public at first – Interact in public channels to get a feel for the community before private messaging matches.
  • Join multiple servers – Each server has its own vibe and members, so join a few to maximize your options.

Once you find some promising dating servers, join ones that seem welcoming and active. Pay attention to your gut feeling on the overall community before investing time into getting to know the members.

Setting Up Your Profile and Roles

Setting Up Your Discord Profile and Roles

To get started on a new dating server, you’ll want to populate your profile and pick any associated roles:

  • Profile picture – Add a clear photo of yourself (not too intimate) so people can see what you look like.
  • Custom status – Set a unique status message with a funny quote or conversation starter for your personality.
  • Username – If the server allows, change your nickname to your first name or a cute pseudonym.
  • Roles – Select any public roles that describe your gender identity, sexual orientation, dating status, kinks, etc.
  • Introduction channel – Post a friendly intro in the new member channel sharing your interests, what brings you to the server, and what you’re looking for.
  • Looking for posts – Check any channels for “looking for” posts and make your own post describing your ideal match.

Making a profile distinct with custom elements will encourage people to message you and show there’s a real person behind the screen name.

Best Practices for Safe Discord Dating

Since you don’t know everyone on a Discord server, use caution when interacting and sharing personal details:

  • Don’t share contact info – Never share private info like your phone number, address, social media, or workplace before getting to know someone.
  • Meet first in public – If you plan to meet an online match in person, always pick a public place like a café for the first date.
  • Tell friends – When going to meet someone, tell a friend where you’re going and share the person’s real name/number in case of emergency.
  • Disable image sharing – Use Discord’s privacy settings to disable image sharing if strangers try sending inappropriate photos.
  • Block creeps – Don’t hesitate to block or report someone who makes you uncomfortable or ignores requests to stop messaging you.
  • Mods are allies – Build a rapport with server mods and let them know if someone is harassing you or breaking rules.
  • Video call first – Before an in-person date, do a video chat on Discord so you can get to know them and verify they match photos.

Staying alert and guarding your personal details will help you safely navigate the fun world of Discord dating!

Making Connections and Finding Matches

Once you’ve joined some active servers, you can start chatting and forming connections. Here are tips for getting to know fellow server members:

  • Say hi in chat – Jump into public chats and introduce yourself to engage with the community.
  • Respond to DMs – Reply if someone nice messages you directly to show you’re open to conversations.
  • Add shared interests – Bond over mutual interests, whether that’s a hobby, TV show, career field, or passion.
  • Ask questions – Keep dialogue flowing by asking questions about their interests, views, dreams, and more.
  • Share your personality – Let your humor and authentic self shine through in chats so they see your vibe.
  • Compliment thoughtfully – Give genuine compliments about their personality, not only physical appearances.
  • Respect boundaries – Don’t be pushy; if someone seems disinterested, don’t keep messaging them.
  • Take it slow – Chat extensively over days or weeks before meeting up to ensure you truly connect.

With time and effort, you can develop meaningful connections that turn into something more!

Transitioning to Video Chats and In-Person Meetups

As you get to know a Discord match, consider taking things to the next level:

  • Move to video chat – Use Discord’s video call feature so you can have deeper conversations face-to-face.
  • Add on social media – Connecting via Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, etc. lets you get to know them better.
  • Plan a unique date – Suggest a fun first date doing an activity you both enjoy, like mini golf, live music, museums, bowling, etc.
  • Meet in a public space – For safety, pick a low-pressure public place like a café, park, or restaurant for your first in-person date.
  • Tell a friend – Let someone know where you’re going and who you’re meeting before the first date. Consider bringing a friend along too.
  • Drive separately – Drive yourself or take public transport when meeting someone for the first time in case you want to leave.
  • Check in after – Let your friend know you got home safe and share how the date went.
  • Take it slow – Don’t feel pressured to get intimate quickly. Make sure you genuinely like each other before taking the next physical steps.

With the right precautions, that perfect Discord match could become someone special in your real life too!

Discord Dating FAQs

For more details on safely and successfully using Discord to find love, check out answers to these frequently asked questions:

Is Discord truly anonymous?

No, Discord doesn’t ensure total anonymity, since anyone can see your profile, pictures, and chat messages within a server. Protect personal details carefully.

How can I verify someone’s identity?

Ask to video chat before meeting up. You can also do a reverse image search on their profile pictures to check they aren’t fake.

What chat etiquette should I follow?

Be kind, respectful, ask questions, avoid negativity, and remember there’s a real person behind each username. Don’t make assumptions.

What are signs someone might be catfishing?

Refusing to video chat, inconsistent details about themselves, generic messages copied to many people, photos that seem fake or hard to verify.

What should I do if someone is harassing me?

Immediately block them, report them to server mods with screenshot evidence, leave any servers where you feel unsafe.

How do I leave a server?

On desktop, right click on the server icon and choose “Leave Server”. On mobile, tap your server list, tap the server to open details, scroll down and tap “Leave Server”.

Can servers see messages between me and another user?

No, direct messages between users are private. Server mods can only see messages within public server channels.

Is there a Discord dating app?

No, but the mobile and desktop apps allow full access to all Discord dating servers and conversations across devices.

How old should you be to date on Discord?

Discord requires users to be at least 13 years old. However, 18+ servers are common for mature dating conversations. Learn how to change your age on Discord.

Key Takeaways

  • Discord facilitates chatting in niche interest groups, which has enabled people to use it for dating purposes.
  • Pros include free use, video calls, shared interests, and more privacy than traditional dating apps. Cons are less verification and ID confirmation compared to paid dating sites.
  • Search directories to find active dating servers that interest you, create a profile showcasing your personality, and interact in public chats to meet potential matches.
  • Use caution when sharing details online, move to video chats before an in-person date, meet in public places, and let friends know your plans for safety.
  • Discord can be a more casual way to meet people compared to dating apps if you approach it carefully. Follow guidelines to maximize success.


Discord offers a unique way to make romantic connections around shared interests and friendly personality-driven conversations. With proper safety precautions, you can successfully find and flirt with potential matches.

We hope this guide gave you all the knowledge needed to dip your toes into the Discord dating scene! Let us know in the comments your tips and experiences with making matches on Discord.


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